Breast cancer – not just for grannies any more

by Maureen on December 29, 2011

Or mothers for that matter. Breast cancer is becoming more and more common in women of all ages.

breast cancer awareness 217x300 Breast cancer – not just for grannies any more

Be aware

Ever stopped to wonder why?

Maybe it is because we are living longer. 80% of breast cancer is diagnosed in women over the age of 50.

But what about the rest of us who are diagnosed and who are under 50? We are active, working, multi-tasking, doing our best to look after everyone (which is what most of our mothers told us is our ultimate reason for existing!), we exercise most of the time, eat reasonable well most of the time but still…

Having been there and done that and got the t-shirt myself, here is some information I offer to you.

Whether you have experienced that mind-numbing ‘why me’ moment when your doctor gives you the news, or you are stressing out because your mom and/or gran have been given that news and maybe you are next, take a deep breath right now and read on!

Who comes first in your life?

I ask it again – who comes first in your life?

I would put money on your answer being certainly not me.

We go through our lives being dutiful daughters, then dutiful wives, dutiful mothers; we look after the children, the husband or partner, the boss, the pets, the parents, the plants. Small wonder there isn’t much if any time left over for us (oh no… not me… that would be selfish to think of me!)

Right. If you managed to take five minutes of your busy day and write down what YOU want from life, will you be frowning over a blank page after said five minutes?

Oh yes… you want XXX for your husband, YYY for your children, ZZZ for the pets etc. But where exactly do you fit in to this equation?

Try this. Say out loud to yourself (looking in a mirror if possible):

I deserve to put myself first.

Then write down all the reasons why this is not possible. I bet ‘It is selfish to put oneself above others’ is on your list.

OK… how about saying I deserve to put myself equal first – there’s a novel thought.
If you cannot easily (and without any little voices in your head chirping away at you) that you deserve to be equal first in all your relationships, you are headed for trouble. It might not be the C word but how on earth do you expect anyone else to value you if you don’t value yourself as much as anyone else?

Women nurture outwards so often and don’t nurture inwards that it is no wonder they get stressed out, get MS, breast or other cancers, CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and other serious diseases.

You can take a little pill or three to help with the stress but until you decide to find out why you are feeling the way you are and why you can’t put yourself equal first, it’s never going to go away on a permanent basis.

If you are interested in a drug-free way to relieve all this stress and see what has been holding you back from realising what a wonderful human being you really are, try some tapping. Even if you currently feel there is nothing you can do in your life to change things, try some tapping.

The only person you can ever change is you. But wonderful things happen when you do make changes – people have to relate to you in a different way because YOU are different now.

It’s that time of year again when some of us decide that the New Year is going to bring new habits and experiences. How about deciding that 2012 is going to be the year you sort yourself out and give yourself the present of freedom from all the baggage you have been carrying around for years.

Resolve to put yourself equal first – and experience life as it is meant to be!

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The holidays… feeling overwhelmed?

by Maureen on December 22, 2011

I wrote this article in 2009 – thought it was relevant for everyone this year so here it is again!

the holidays The holidays... feeling overwhelmed?The Holidays – do these words make your heart sink just hearing them or seeing them? To many people they do – and to very many women! After all we women are the ones who organize everything, and sort out everything, and cook everything, and wrap everything, and play referee to the children’s squabbles, and drink too much to take away the stress, and panic when we hear that Aunty X is going to be coming along with her arch enemy Auntie Y, and feel devastated when we find out our ex is coming with his new younger model wife to give the children their gifts as you have to be pleasant to everyone during The Holidays right?

Phew… that is just the start of thoughts swirling around in our heads. How are we going to manage?

We do manage… most of the time – even if in the past we have resorted to a bit too much Christmas cheer or a secret stash of sherry or something stronger to see us through.

What about a new way of looking at things this holiday season? Tried reading the self help articles and all they did were take up more of your ever decreasing spare time? Already tried taking deep breaths and attempting to relax? Will power alone does not work. All the will in the world will not help if you are still focused on the same outcome.

OK… then what about a really new way of looking at all this holiday stress and strain? Enter Fairy Godmother waving her meridian tapping wand.

You need to relax my dear she says (tell me something I don’t already know…) – so what is this magic wand stuff and how is it going to help me?

First we do a set up – this is repeated three times:

Forgotten how to tap, or where the tapping points are? Here are introductory instructions on how to do EFT or you can download a guide to meridian (EFT) tapping points available as a PDF

  1. Even though I am so totally stressed out and overwhelmed just thinking about the holidays never mind planning for them, I want to work through this right now
  2. Even though in the past I got totally overwhelmed and nothing worked out as I wanted it to, this year it will be different and I am working towards that right now
  3. Even though I don’t even know where to start there are so many thoughts whizzing around in my head, I am not going to go through the same stuff again this year so I want to work through this right now.

And now for some meridian tapping:

  • EB: I am totally overwhelmed
  • OE: I can’t go through this again
  • UE: I don’t even know where to start
  • UN: I can’t face all those awful relatives
  • CH: Why does my husband think I can just do this every year without help
  • CB: I deserve things to be different this year
  • UA: Maybe I can let some of this stress go
  • TOH: Perhaps it is safe for me to let some of this stress go right now

Take a deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath.

Feel any calmer? Good!

Now try these set ups:

  1. Even though there is still a huge amount of work for me to do, I am working through this
  2. Even though I still am not sure yet if I can cope, I am working through this
  3. Even though there is a part of me that would rather not do this at all, I can take my power back and work through this right now.

Now the tapping:

  • EB: I can’t do this by myself
  • OE: Maybe I can ask the family to help
  • UE: Nobody ever helps me
  • UN: This time it can be different
  • CH: I deserve to have some help
  • CB: I deserve things to be different this year
  • UA: It is safe for me to ask for help
  • TOH: It is safe and easy for me to ask for help right now

Take another deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep breath. Any easier?

You might say how can this help me – I am the only one who does the planning and the cooking and and and… Well. Where does the responsibility lay? Do you live alone? If so then yes you decide what to do and plan and all the rest. However, most of us are doing all this because we have families and if we don’t ask them for help, I am fairly certain they are not all going to come rushing up begging to do the chores.

Have a family conference or pow-wow and tell them how it is going to be this year. Tell them you need help. Ask them how they would like to contribute in the way of help. Make a list… or continue to be a martyr and sneak out back with your vice of choice. But remember… you can make a change if you want to!

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The wise sage

December 13, 2011

There once was a wise sage who wandered the countryside. One day, as he passed near a village, he was approached by a woman who told him of a sick child nearby. She beseeched him to help this child. So the sage came to the village, and a crowd gathered around him, for such a [...]

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Cats R Us – or can be!

November 16, 2011

I was asked recently to work with a cat in the US who had just been diagnosed with abdominal cancer. I said I would do what I could to help Snookie and did what I usually do first, tune in to the animal and then have a chat with it to see (from the animal’s [...]

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No batteries required

September 27, 2011

I believe we come fully assembled, ready to go, no batteries required. What am I talking about? If we believe in a higher power of some sort – the Universe, God, call it what serves you best – then I believe that that higher power gives us everything we need to take responsibility for our [...]

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